Guest Post by Colleen Thedieck:

It is hard to believe some routines strengthen your marriage more than others. Some practices are as simple as your husband preparing the coffee maker at night so that when you wake up, a hot cup of coffee is just a button push away.  Others may be more planned and intentional, such as Christmas morning and how the remainder of the day will flow with your family members. 

A routine that may come as a surprise to you that will strengthen your marriage is a budget. Yep, does it shock you to think sitting down and deciding together to spend money builds trust in your union?

Routines that Strengthen Your Marriage: Money

The role of money in your marriage is a tool. 

Think of money in the same way you think of your coffee maker.  There is a specific location in your home for the coffee maker. The coffee maker may be simple or complex with multiple functions.

Your money sits in a bank with multiple functions:

• Checking. This account’s location functions as a place for daily transactions or exchanges of money.
• Savings. This account’s location prepares for future exchanges of money.
• Retirement. Simply put this location allows us to prepare for our senior lifestyle.
• Medical- This account’s location allows us to offset health care purchases.

How to Set Up Routines that Strengthen Your Marriage

Routine #1: Goals for Your Marriage

Setting a money goal in your marriage allows you to focus and put your energy toward something that excites both of you. When you write down a goal you are more likely to achieve said goal. 

Start with a small goal. Perhaps the goal is to save $1,000 to purchase patio furniture. With this shared goal decided upon, you now are able to support each other’s actions to become successful.

Now that the goal is set, the next step will be to create an action plan to achieve your goal. Action plans for any money goal are essential to ensure you will reach your goal.

A budget is your proven action plan to reach any money goal.

Routine #2 Budget Meeting

Mark your calendar each week for a budget meeting. When you are first starting your budget, my recommendation is to allow 1 hour of uninterrupted time to discuss your budget.

Be intentional with your time to set aside an optimal day and time each week to review your budget.

The first budget meeting will be to allocate at a granular level what changes need to be made in order to meet your goal.  Remember our patio furniture goal? What habits are you willing to change in order to meet your goal?  

For example, if mom is willing to forgo her weekly manicure and order a ColorStreet nail set instead that is $58 to put toward the patio furniture budget. What about dad?  His weekly trip to the golf course cut in half may save the family more than $70. 

Remember, small, incremental changes add up and will allow you to meet your goal.

The question to answer during your budget meeting is what are you willing to change to meet your goal?

Routine #3 Check-In: Goals for Your Marriage

Another important routine to meet a goal for your marriage is to set up check-in meetings.

If you are a planner person, you will love all the reasons I have given you to purchase a new ink pen or pack of stickers to mark all these important dates as we create new routines for our marriage.

During this check-in make sure you are both happy with the changes made to your budget. Some questions to think through together during your check-in to determine if a change to your budget is needed:

• Do we still share the same goal?
• Does something need to change?
• No-we are on track to meet our goal.
• Maybe- I want to cut down on another personal expense category.
• Yes-we are rocking our new budget and on target to meet our goal! 
• Are you learning a new habit that is helpful to your self-care or to your marriage?

There is no wrong or right answer to your feelings. The most important thing to remember as you implement this routine is to be open and honest with your feelings. As much as I would love to think otherwise, our spouses are not able to read our minds!

Creating a routine to check in with your goals gives both of you the opportunity to share your feelings and determine if any adjustments need to be made to your budget.

Routine #4: Celebrate Your Success

This is my favorite routine to establish for any married couple. Sometimes the focus on achieving the goal prevents couples from celebrating their success.

Remember you have just created a routine to budget together. This is a reason to celebrate. Remember, celebrations do not have to be extravagant. To stay ahead of your enthusiasm, I recommend putting together a list of small celebrations that will make you both happy and engaged to keep pursuing the goal you set for each other.

Routines that Strengthen Your Marriage: Conclusion

Routines simply put are a sequence of events that allow you to accomplish a goal you set for yourself. The most important action to take is to work with your spouse and create a routine that opens the door to communication and accountability. 

When you establish routines that allow you to open this pathway to communication you will find more than just a budget meeting to know where your money is going to happen each week. Instead, you will find intimacy, openness, and gratitude for your spouse becoming deeply rooted in your marriage.

Meet the Author: Colleen Thedieck, Creator of Graceful Budgets

Hi, I’m Colleen! I am a wife, boy mom, with two fur baby labs!  My favorite things to do are run and drink coffee!

I created Graceful Budgets to help ladies break the idea that living on a budget means you have no life and are constantly denying yourself fun and exciting things in life.  The truth is a budget gives you the freedom to spend your money on things that are the most important to you!