Are you feeling stuck? Afraid to start? What’s holding you back? Do you have a dream or idea you’d love to try but you have too many fears and doubts to even get started? You’ve come to the right place, friend. Let’s work together to get you unstuck from fear and moving forward to your dreams.
My fear of motherhood
Oh, I’ve been there, friend. As soon as I saw the pink plus sign on the fears flooded in, “can I really be a mom? I don’t think I’m cut out for this.” Emotions overwhelmed me, it was hard to sort out what was true.
Thankfully, an amazing community of woman spoke hope into my life. They gave me a safe place to cry, “I’m afraid! What if my story will be my child’s story: one of abuse and depression?” No, they encouraged, “you get to be praying over and for them, you get to set healthy boundaries and protect them, you get to show them Jesus.” My friends helped me see the compassion and wisdom God had already given me to help raise our budding Baby O based on my life experiences. More importantly, God knew exactly who I’d be, and what Baby O needed in a mom. I was meant to be a mother for this special child!
Getting unstuck from fear and lies
However, other fears popped up, running through Baby O’s hypothetical life – would they make wise choices, would they love Jesus, would they make good friends, would I mess them up? But, I was already on this train speeding toward motherhood, I couldn’t hop off to avoid facing my fears. Forty-one weeks was too short to address every concern and fear, yet it was enough to process my biggest ones. Admitting I couldn’t control the future was hard, but I knew God loved me and loved this child, and he would protect us and gently guide us. Truly, my heart cry was that as I raised this sweet babe with my husband, and the Lord’s grace and love would stand in the gap of our humanness as parents.
“He tends his flocks like a shepherd: he gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.” Isaiah 40:11
New hope born
So, the labor pains came. Despite my fears, my body knew what to do. Nurses and midwife coached me, and Andrés was glued to my side. This babe was coming out, there was no other option. It was such hard work, and around 28 hours in I hit a wall. Exhausted, I wanted to quit. My body shook and Baby O’s heart rate was inconsistent. Laboring should have been easier. I thought I’d never want an epidural. Until I did.
Meanwhile I faced more lies – that I would be weak and a bad mother for getting help. To my surprise, an epidural was the right decision; a wave of relief swept over me. Still, my body needed another 11 hours to be ready, but when I began to push, I was determined! Soon after, I quietly gasped, “it’s a girl!” and tenderly lifted her onto my chest. My fears of labor melted away. I did it. I was a mom. My heart was overcome with joy and love.
Where are you stuck?
Similarly, maybe you’re pregnant with your first child and have overwhelming fears? Or are you you doing a side hustle and scared about this economy? Are you stuck and unsure of your next steps? Do you want to shrink back and listen to fears like…
- Someone’s already doing it better?
- I can’t do it unless I can do it well?
- Does no one care about my passion?
- I’m going to let people down?
- No one will notice me
However, friend, you can move forward with courage, despite the fears. Honestly, if I had waited for all my fears to subside, I never would have made it to motherhood. Can you say this with me, “Fear is normal!” It always pops up when you’re about to grow. Fear yells conflicting things like “don’t chase your dreams!” and “when you chase your dreams you’ll have to do it perfectly!” Likewise, Jon Acuff, author of Start calls fear schizophrenic. Fear always fights both sides of the story. How can you chase your dreams yet be on the sidelines of your life at the same time? Can you remember times when you’ve had those fighting fears? So, it’s no wonder we feel exhausted and stuck before we even start!
Three keys truths to help you unstuck from fear
Importantly, friend, know that fear:
- Is normal.
- Gives you conflicting messages.
- Wants to keep you trapped.
Most importantly, as soon as we realize fear is an enemy that keeps us from growing, we can take action and name fear for what it is, a liar!
So now what?
Above all, let’s step out in faith, and say, “yes, I can do this, and I will. I’m about to grow!” Likewise, did you know God’s word has the phrase “do not fear” 365 times? I believe it is not a coincidence. We may have fears of trying a new thing, but God calls us to just try and trust he’ll be alongside us every single day. As Christy Wright says, “Fear wants you to live a small life, but God never created us or called us to live a small life. God wants us to have life and have it ‘abundantly.’” What if we named our fear something like “Big Bertha” and every time it popped up, we’d celebrate, laugh and say, “I see you, Berth, and I’m going to do it anyway!”
“...’The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have it to the full.’” John 10:10
In summary, you are called for great things and are made on purpose for unique purposes only you can fulfill! Can you feel hope rising for your story? I believe in God’s economy – one of abundance and hope, not one of scarcity and limitations. There is a place for you, sis. Let’s move forward together, living to our fullest, abundant potential, overcoming one fear at a time.
Journal questions to get unstuck from fear:
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- What fears or excuses have kept you from stepping out in courage and doing the thing that has been on your heart for ages?
- Are the fears based on truth? What do your best friends say about your fears or reasons not to? What does God’s word say?
- In light of these things, what is your next brave step to get unstuck from fear?
Additional Resources:
Read about facing fear and pursuing your dreams: Start by Jon Acuff
Like visuals? Use this mind map by Jennie Allen to write out and process your fears.