Guest Post by Joanna Cranston, MD:

I knew it would be hard for anyone else to understand.  Why, after devoting such a large portion of my life (more than 10 years!) to training to be a surgeon, would I decide to step away from medicine altogether?

Well, to be honest, I was pretty surprised myself. Has God ever led you in a direction that was the last thing you expected, but somehow knew was the right one? Has he ever turned your pain into his glory?  That seems to be one of his favorite ways to work.  Let me share the story of how he is doing just that in my life.

Use Me, Lord

I left home to attend college in 2002, going to a small Christian university a couple of hours away.  When I started my freshman year, I was uncertain what major to declare, because I enjoyed many different areas of study, like languages, art, and science.  I decided to hold off on declaring a major, and took classes in several different disciplines, including Art, Spanish, and Biology classes.  I prayed for direction.

I had grown up the daughter of a physician and the granddaughter of career overseas missionaries.  My dad had always told me I would make a good doctor, and I had always been fascinated by the “missionary stories” I heard as a child.  You know the ones, where God shows up in miraculous ways to provide just what is needed at just the right time, where courageous acts of faith result in large numbers coming to faith.  I love these stories to this day.

So, despite the fact that, when working on my Art assignments, I would get immersed in them and lose track of time, loving every minute of the creative process, despite the fact that I had been writing nearly all my life and loved expressing myself in that way, I became convinced that these pursuits were not the most “useful” thing I could do for God, certainly not as useful as being a physician. I could think of nothing more useful than being a missionary doctor. I declared myself Pre-Med and took the classes I would need to apply for medical school.

From Student to Surgeon

Over the next thirteen years, I completed a series of classes, exams, and interviews that took me from college student to medical student to General Surgery resident.  Although I was initially hesitant to specialize in Surgery (I definitely didn’t have the “typical surgeon” personality), I realized that it was the best fit for a person who loved working with her hands.  I could handle the long hours, the constant studying, the often less-than-pleasant attending surgeons I trained under.  It was almost as if I had a deep-seated need to prove to God that I was truly committed to him by working harder, doing more, crossing each next hurdle put in front of me.  I no longer had much time for creative pursuits like art and writing, but these could wait, right?

I became a board-certified general surgeon, and later did additional training in Burn Surgery.  I had joined the U.S. Army to help pay for medical school, largely in order to avoid being deep in debt upon graduation and hampering my ability to serve on the mission field.

Manna in the Wilderness

I got married at the end of my first year of residency.  However, as my surgical training progressed, it became clear that the person I had married was not who he had initially seemed to be.  After years of praying for change, but seeing patterns of dangerous and destructive behavior, I sought godly counsel, cried out to God for wisdom, and eventually knew I needed to leave.  I had three children at this point, the youngest only a few months old.  Divorced was the last thing I had ever wanted to be, but I also knew that God loved me and my kids, and cared about our safety, more than he loved the institution of marriage.  Where there seemed to be no way, God would make a way.

It was during this period of what felt like wandering in the wilderness that I leaned into my creative hobby of hand lettering.  I wrote out Bible verses and lyrics of hymns and worship songs to keep them in the forefront of my mind.  I knew that the process of writing out the words helped to embed them in my brain and heart, and loved working to improve my artistic expression of the letters that formed these words of hope.  I placed my favorite hand lettering pieces in places where I would see them around my home and office, knowing that there would be moments where I was so overcome with doubt and discouragement that I would need the reminders.

Embracing my creativity for the first time in a long time through hand lettering was surprisingly life-giving.  It felt like I had a large store of pent-up creative energy waiting for release.  Since making the subconscious decision that my creative gifts were not as worthy of my time as being a surgeon was, I had largely neglected them.  But they were still there, just waiting for permission to blossom.

Over the next two years, I moved across the country with my three kids, started a new general surgery job, and tried to adjust to being a single mother.  With a year left in my obligation to the Army, I deployed again.  Thankfully, it was only for three months, and my parents took great care of my kids during that time, but it was a strain on the kids and me.

However, during my deployment, I started writing the manuscript of a book that had been on my heart.  Deployment was a time when many of the normal parts of my daily life, including many of the distractions, were stripped away.  I was able to spend at least a couple of hours each day writing.  It was a strange feeling—I really didn’t have to work hard to come up with the words to type; they just seemed to be there waiting to be let out.  And I noticed something: I felt most like myself while writing and hand lettering.

Change of Plans

I returned home and continued my job search, looking for a general surgery position that would provide the best fit for both me and my family.  I knew that, wherever we moved, we would need to establish a large support system, including finding a new nanny and a supportive church.  I found what I thought would be the best practice to join.  I interviewed once and was invited back for a second interview.  I prayed, “God, I think this is where you want us to go.  Please show me if it’s not.”

A few days after my second interview, I got the answer to my prayer.  It was “no.”  I was not being offered the job.  After getting over the surprise and disappointment, I went back to the drawing board in looking for a new position.  But God began to speak.  Or perhaps I began to listen better to what he had been saying.  

It went something like this: “Do you really want to uproot your family yet again, and go “prove yourself” in a new hospital, working long hours and being on call, while your kids are struggling and need a parent who is physically and mentally present with them right now?

“I know you want to be useful to me, my precious daughter.  You have been striving so hard to do something that society sees as worthy.  But guess what?  The creative gifts I have given you are useful and worthy.  I made you that way on purpose.

“What if you could use your art and writing to impact more lives than you would as a surgeon?”

Called to Create

The idea was overwhelming.  To think that I would leave a career with high earning potential, a career that was respected and admired (How many times had I heard the words “Oh, you’re a surgeon? Wow.”) for one that was seen as non-essential seemed crazy.  

“That can’t be right, God,” I protested.  “I’m not hearing you right.  Am I?”

And yet, in the pit of my stomach, I knew I was.  

The thing about God’s plans is that he rarely gives us the whole picture up front.  Only receiving one step at a time gives us the opportunity to say, “I trust you, God,” over and over again, and to knock down the idol of (perceived) control that most of us struggle with.

Stepping out in Faith

And so I started taking baby steps.  Learning about business.  Creating an LLC.  Launching a website.  Surrounding myself with people who were doing what I wanted to be doing.  Fighting fear each step of the way.  And Words of Hope Designs LLC was born.

I launched my website and Etsy shop earlier this year. My mission at Words of Hope Designs is simple: to create beautiful reminders of truth that spread hope. So far, I have made artwork for hanging on the wall, greeting cards featuring scripture, and Biblical affirmation lunchbox notes for kids. Who knows what other ideas God will send my way, but I am open to them, whatever they may be. 

The book that I started writing is still in the works, but I have made contacts who helped me refine its message and reaffirmed the importance of writing it. It will be published in God’s timing.

I invite you to check out my website and shop, but more importantly, to take the next step of faith wherever you feel God nudging you.  His plans are always better than ours, and he is with us every step of the way.

Meet the Author: Joanna Cranston, MD