Busting the Dams of  Stagnation

Guest Post by Martha Harder:

I sat with the shades on the windows drawn.  My eyes were puffy and glassy.  I heard the noise of life outside my walls but I couldn’t let it in.  I couldn’t remember the last time I washed my hair and my dirty dishes were growing a colony of mold spores on my counter. 

I had had a series of losses including a traumatic miscarriage that I was still trying to wrap my mind and heart around. Not too many weeks before, I stood from the couch, my bottom half covered in blood. Headed to the bathroom, trying not to draw attention to the fact that I was in distress.  Locking the door on our only bathroom, I watched the tiny, misshapen body of my baby float down as the waters of the toilet swirled.  My two small toddlers knocking on the bathroom door, wanting their lunch.  “Momma be right out!” 

Leading up to that point in life, I had muscled through.  Covering, dismissing, deflecting, suppressing, denying.  I couldn’t put it into words, but I knew if I stopped long enough to feel the weight of what I carried around with me, it would knock me down in a way that I wouldn’t be able to function. So I went on.  Blocking out the heavy.  Attempting to mask it with busyness.  

But the miscarriage did me in.  I needed help.  I couldn’t do this alone anymore.

Where did stagnation begin?

Entering adulthood, I came with many scars but one of my constant fallbacks was to be, “The Nice Girl.”  I had a hard time saying no.  So I would often get conned into jobs I didn’t want, relationships that were unsafe, and patterns of self-indulgence and self-denial that were not healthy.

I had been in a relationship that succeeded in aiding in the desecration of my mind and body.  I was manipulated and abused.  Coming out of that, I was urged to keep ‘what happened,’ ‘my story’… quiet.  And in that quiet, stagnation, my life began to give a rancor I could not put into words.  This continued for years…

Today, I’d like to shine a light on the stagnant parts of our hearts and minds.  I’d like to bust the dam to allow fresh springs of water to permeate every facet of our beings. 

My family and I are in organic crop farming.  So we’ve smelled our fair share of smells.  Stagnation STINKS.  We rely on irrigation for our livelihood, so water is a huge part of our lives. Waterways that are blocked with debris and weeds allow dead vegetation (and wildlife) to pile up, giving an appalling odor.  I am constantly astonished at how many analogies our Creator left for us in His Earth.  We can learn about healthy (and unhealthy) life flow by viewing stagnation in nature.  But we also see the flow in His Word. 

Psalm 16:11 You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. 

Life is in the flow

He makes known the path of life.  Life is in flow.  Stagnation is the path of death.  All that gets caught in the build-up does not get proper oxygen, fresh water, nourishment.  Slowly, all life begins to drain and the creature (plant or animal) dies.  

Often we get bogged down because of the heaviness we carry.  Twigs of doubt, tumbleweeds of worry, leaves of bitterness all start to block the waterways of our lives, and we halt to a creeping pace.  Everything feels hard during those times. Paralyzing. 

Ignoring the heavy does not make it go away.  Nor is it healthy to deflect or dismiss. Pretending a heart attack isn’t occurring doesn’t give you the life-saving measures you need.  

Pretending that other kinds of intervention are not needed does not prevent a mental/emotional/spiritual collapse.  We must look the pile of debris in the face and tell it who is in charge. We must go on the offense in regards to our life stagnation. 

Four ways to bust stagnation

Practical Step #1: Mind-Work

I am constantly in awe of the mind’s ability to renew itself through God’s unique purifying processes.  (See Romans 12:1-2) He is faithful.  But we may have some work to do, too. 

Proverbs 23:7 Says as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.  The inner workings of our mind and heart are the seeds that sprout into what our lives contain externally.  If we want the external to change in lasting ways, we need to do some inner work first. 

“Staying quiet” hadn’t worked in my case.  I’ll bet it hasn’t worked effectively in yours, either.  Psalm 39:3 says, “The more I thought about it, the hotter I got, igniting a fire of words.”  What we think on may stay inside for a while, but the fire builds and eventually comes out in a tangible way.

Pretending things didn’t happen didn’t heal my mind but created a deeper cavern of denial.  A warped, exhausted way of functioning day to day.  While building insolated walls around my heart, I was simultaneously piling on the debris of stagnation. 

Allowing healthy life flow does not mean constantly staying physically busy, but MENTALLY busy.  Filtering your thoughts, continually. If a thought is toxic, untrue, or speculative, put it in its proper place.  A great way to do this is the replacement theory.  Find something else to meditate on. Let the healthy thoughts simmer like a long-cooked stew. Constantly bubbling and moving.  Effectually making a sweet smelling savor. This takes practice but IS possible. 

Practical Step #2: Enlist Help

We weren’t meant to do life alone.  We were made in the image of our Daddy God, as relational beings.  He created us with the desire and NEED for fellowship and the interaction with other beings.  

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two are better than one, because they have  good reward for their labor: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up.  But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 

Sometimes, enlisting help means saying the heavy words out loud. Sharing the stories.  Allowing the words to hit the air. This can be agonizingly difficult but radically freeing. 

Practical Step #3: Remember Your Father

It may be necessary to step back and be reminded of who God is.  When we remember who God is, we remember who we are.  

Psalm 119: 27 Make me to understand the way of thy precepts: so shall I talk of thy wondrous works.  

Psalm 36:9 For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light. 

Practical Step #4: Ask God For Help

Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. 

I love how it doesn’t say ‘things are better,’ but the fears are dissolved after seeking God.  When Daddy is near, little ones relax because they know they are safe.

There may be pain involved.  God did not spare His own Son from pain (Romans 8:32) and He will not spare us.  But we do have a part to play in busting the dams of stagnation in our lives.  Let the rivers of God’s life-water flow in your mind, in your heart, in your outside relationships, and in your seeking Him.

Meet the Author: Martha Harder